13 Reasons Why


I believe almost everybody knows about Hannah and the tapes. For the sake of those who don't have Netflix or haven't read the novel by Jay Asher, 13 Reasons Why is about a girl who took her own life and recorded the reasons why she chose to commit suicide. 

I used to suffer from depression and I admit there were times I contemplated killing myself.  I've got reasons but I don't think I have as much as thirteen. Instead on focusing too much on why I wanted to die whenever I feel the urge to end whatever I was feeling, I think of the reasons why I should not commit suicide.

My dad will grieve. I love my dad so much I don't want to be the cause of his grief. I've witnessed how much he has suffered emotionally with the demise of my mom. If there is one reason why I shouldn't kill myself, it's because of my dad. 

I don't want to be a quitter. When I landed my first job after college, I almost gave up right away because of the stress at work. My immediate superior talked to me and challenged me. He asked me, "Are you a quitter? If I accept your resignation, you will resign again from your next job because you are a quitter."  Since then, I make sure I don't quit when things get tough. 

It's just a bad day. Not a bad life. I really have a wonderful life. There was just a moment in my life when a series of unfortunate events hit me. My mom's cancer returned. My husband had to work in the US for nine months and I was having separation anxiety. The least person I expect to hurt me betrayed me big time. I had no work and no money. I can't conceive a child. I woke up one day tired of licking my wounds and decided to do something to have a wonderful life again.

Someone had it worst and survived. Why can't I? I won't be put in this situation if I'm not capable of getting out and better than my previous self. 

All of us at certain point in our life suffer from emotional stability. If you have no one you can trust to talk to, Suicide.Org has a list of numbers you can call. In the Philippines, we  have a 24/7 HOPEline for 

 those who are in emotional crisis and in need of immediate assistance

(02) 804-HOPE (4673)
0917 558 HOPE (4673)
2919 (toll-free number for all GLOBE and TM subscribers)