Paulo Coelho: Adultery

It was a weird experience reading Paulo Coelho's Adultery. It was like reading about myself except for the adultery part. It's like someone wrote about how I feel and the emotional drama I've been dealing with. Sometimes I wish I wrote this book.

Here are a few lines from the first chapters:

"Every morning, when I open my eyes to the so-called "new day", I feel like closing them again, staying in bed, and not getting up. But I can't do that."

"..but I just can't sleep anymore. When night comes and no one is watching, I feel afraid of everything: life, death, love or the lack of it; the fact that all novelties quickly become habits; the feeling that I'm wasting the best years of my life in a pattern that will be repeated over and over until I die." 

"And then suddenly, for no reason, I get into the shower and burst into tears. I can cry there because no one can hear my sobs or ask me the question I hate most: Are you alright?" 

"Is there anything wrong with my life? No, nothing. Only the nights that filled me with dread. The days I can't get excited about. The happy images from the past and the things that could have been but weren't. The desire for adventure never fulfilled." 

"Then they say: "I've had enough, I don't want this anymore. " Some commit suicide. Others get divorced. Some go to poor parts of Africa to try to save the world." (and me.. trying to help save dying babies to have some sort of a purpose)

"Then I realize that words like "optimism" and "hope", which appear in all those self-help books that they claim they'll make us more confident and better able to cope with life, are just that: words."

"(Depression) It's like being inside a trap. You know you're caught, but you can't escape.." 

"Not everyone needs to feel happy all the time. Besides, no one can be happy all the time. I need to deal with the reality of life."

I could go on and on but I might end up rewriting the book. Go get a copy. Promise, it's a good read.

And my favorite...

"Going after a dream has a price. 

It may mean abandoning our habits, 

it may make us go through hardships, 

or it may lead us to disappointment. 

But however costly it may be, 

it is never as high as the price paid by people who didn't live. 

Because one day they will look back 

and hear their own heart say: 

I wasted my life."