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This will be the last time you are gonna hear from me. I'm not sure if I'll make sense at all. I prefer to leave without saying goodbye but I don't want to be deprived of the opportunity to pour out my thoughts and innermost feelings. And so I opted to write you a letter.

I want you to remember that I will always be grateful for your friendship. Your companionship has helped me make it through the most confusing times of my life. You just don't know how much I looked forward to spending time with you back then. Because being with you made me appreciate the simple things that life could offer.

Thank you for trusting me. I'm too cautious and yet you took me in without questions. Thank you for lending an ear to my unending complaints with how my so-called life sucks. And for never failing to turn my mood around.

Thank you for the tender moments that made me almost fall in love with you. A stupid feeling which I tried so hard to suppress worrying that your knowledge of it will scare you away. You know I could not afford to risk the friendship. And I'm sane enough to know that the gap between us is just to wide to fill.

I must throw away every memory or I'll be forever bonded with what has been. I must erase the path that leads me to someone I shouldn't even dream to be with in the first place. It is really foolish of me to make myself believe that your kindness translates to something romantic. It is crazier to keep on hoping that we could be together.

Things are somehow getting better at my end.

I wish you well.


*first published in Tabulas 07 Sept 2006